a post..

it had been 2 months i didnt update my blog. i know it has nobody to read my blog. but for my own responsibility, i feel that i must update the blog. i treat it as my diary,although i didnt update it daily. but still, i want to write out my feelings. if not, i will be mad. whenever i want to share my feelings, i find no one to share with. it's embarrassed. i know.
it's ok. i think i will cope with this very well.

first sem in degree.. it's kinda busy. it's normal, i know. but still, i want to complain!! MMU system really not that efficient and effective. but i have to cope with this too. why? because i dare not to complain in formal way.. chicken..
however, if compared to USM, i think MMU system is good enough for us, students, to use it. just bear with it in this 4 years.

recently, i found that i had lost. lost in many aspects. ex-classmates are graduated from matriculation and going to enter local U. heard one of them is going to study overseas. same course with me. but duration is only 3 years. i started to worry, and suspect about my university and my course. is that the correct course i had take for my entire life? is that the correct university to study this course? i dont know. i'm confused. they will graduate earlier than me, 1 year. but salary still the same. that means, in other words, i'll waste up 1 year in MMU.
yes, i know. my "gia su" gene is come again.. it's lost of control again. sigh..

it's going to be very busy. i think i'm crazy, but the more crazy thing is, i pulled my friends together with me, to crazy together. sorry guys, if this sem u all feel reall tough to go through. i had no choice. sweetness comes after bitter. it always like that. this sem is the bitter time. hope we can taste the sweetness after that.

frankly, after u went to cyber, the thing that is unforgettable is when u can accompany me. do whatever thing i want to do. this is the only thing i miss about. whenever it is lunch or dinner time, i'm alone, if my friends didn't eat with me. take away the food and eat at home, is lonely. yes, lonely, nothing more than that. i finally know what's my sister's feeling. she hate eating at home. because of this, i always ask or even force my friends to eat with me.hope they can forgive me.

today home alone again. it's a better night for me to think over something.
i'm tired. tiring in maintaining the relationship between u and me. even friendship. i don't know what should i tell u, i dont know what should i do for u, i even dont know how to face u. yes, i'm hiding again. really dont feel like facing the problems. i dont know how to tell u what are the problems. maybe they had retained many months ago. just that we didnt realise the problems. u know, ur over suspicious and think too much had made me felt unbreathable. they made me so tiring.everybody also says that u are good. u treat me so gentle.
they might be correct. sometimes u are good, when ur mood is good. but when ur mood is bad, i totally dont know what should i do. i'm suffering.
i can guarantee that u dont know this thing.
this few weeks, what u had done is calling, keep on calling me. it's so torturing. i told u i'm busy. but u were "pek cek" there. what u want me to do?! i picked up ur phone, but u were talking rubbish and wasting my time.
it's enough. maybe we shouldn't be besties. we both dont deserve this relationship. what if we are just strangers.. so that we can have separate life.we dont disturb each other. so good..
agree? we just stepped back to strangers stage. so that i wont be so suffering, dont know how to face in front of u..