第二夜 半臉人

“夜晚才适合講那些离奇的故事啊。”朋友伸了伸腰。把上衣拖去，盤腿做在地上。他家里沒什么家具，來客人都做地上。因為他說討厭椅子，席地而做才是古人風范。

“繼續講啊，什么半臉的故事。”我催促道。

“恩，對的。恐怕這是我所知道的眾多故事里最詭异的了。甚至連敘述的我講起來都有些打顫。 我照例做著沒有目的地的旅行，但我一般都選擇比較偏僻的地方，你知道那里往往有很多奇怪有趣的故事。不過以前我都是听說而已，而這次我卻親身經歷了。

我來到了一村落，其實這個村子很大，几乎可以算是一個微型的城市了。村里人都有不同的工作，剛好构成了一個需求環，大家自給自足。于是慢慢与外界有些隔离了。不過他們依舊很好客，當我來到時候他們都很友善的招待我。加上我還學過几年醫術，還可以幫他們治療一些普通的疾病。他們就把我當成上賓了。而且把傳成了個神醫。哈哈。”朋友得意的笑著，我知道其實他在大學的時候成績就很出眾，雖然他不喜歡做醫生，但他屬于那种即便不喜歡但也要學好的那种人。所以即使他不繼承那比遺產，他也會成為一個优秀的醫生。看他這么高興，估計當時那村子的人對他的确很尊敬呢。

“不過沒過多久。村長就把我請到他家去了。村長是村里最德高望重的人，相當与族長一樣。可以說几乎是當地的國王了。當然，他也是非常友善的。不過他始終保持這一份應該的尊嚴和威儀。但這次他卻顯的很卑微，似乎像是有求与我。

｀您簡直成神了，村子的人都說您醫術超群，甚至還解決了几個長久折磨他們的疑難雜症，您正是太厲害了。＇村長不停的恭維著我，几乎把我吹的飄飄然了。

｀說把，您家里難道也有人生病了？＇我笑著問他。但村長面露難色，似乎很難啟齒，每每想說話又咽了回去。最后他像下定決心一樣小聲對我說；

｀是我的儿子，与您年紀差不多，本來是一個非常优秀的人。但不知道什么時候他把自己關了起來，每天呆在房間里，只吃我們送去的飯菜，卻從來不見我們家人。我和他媽媽都快急瘋了。結果老天爺把您派來了，您可一定要救救他。＇村長說到最后聲淚俱下，几乎要跪下了。我覺得事情似乎不那么簡單，恐怕以我的醫術管不了。但我還是答應隨同村長一起去他家了解下情況再說。

村長的家果然要气派很多，不過究底也是普通的磚瓦房。不過比一般村民的房子要稍大一些。房子有兩層。門前還有一個不小的院子，放養著一些家禽。房子的右邊飄來一陣陣的原始的蔬菜的味道（其實就是農家肥）。相比那里是廁所和菜園。唯一令我不安心的是那只半人多高黑粽色的大狗，見我是生人就嘶牙咧嘴的對著我，喉嚨里咕咕的叫喚。我知道這种狗是及其危險的。所以我停了下來。村長連忙呵斥它走開我才敢走了進去。

村長的家人很友好，是典型的好客的農家人。我始終奇怪這樣普通家庭養育的孩子到底得了什么病。

村長帶著我上了二樓，來到了一間房間面前。

“就這，我儿子叫柱子，他已經把自己關在里面整整一個月了。我實在沒辦法了，要不是你來了，我也要出去找醫生。”村長的話語間無不煩惱。

“你和他說過話么？自從他自己封閉起來后。”我問道。

村長搖頭，我示意他下下去，再我當時看來可能是年輕人青春期的煩躁帶來的一些心理問題，所以我讓身為父親的村長回避可能好點。結果事實上我的想法過于簡單了。

村長下樓了，嘴里小聲嘟囔著，依稀能听到是希望這次我能治好。我望著他的背影覺得他的确很可怜。

“里面的是柱子么？”我輕扣了下木門，門的質地很粗糙，還帶著毛刺，第一下打得我很疼，所以我放小了點力气。

柱子沒有回答我，這也是意料中的事。于是我開始了所謂的心理治療。無非都是大學心理課上還沒完全忘光的東西。可惜完全沒有效果。一小時后，我開始急噪起來，忽然對里面的人產生了好奇。我四下望了望，發現門的右下角有一個不規則的小洞。我使勁得蹲下來，想看看里面。

我終于把自己的眼睛對准了那個洞。光線不夠，看得不是很清楚。但我還是依稀看見一個身材高大的側影坐在床頭。估計他就是柱子。他像雕象一樣坐在哪里無動于衷。我突然產生了一种很 沖動的想法。如果我現在大喊一句我看見你了會怎么樣？

我這樣做了，對著門大喊一句：“柱子，我看見你了，你正坐在床沿上！”

他果然有反應了，而且很劇烈。他抱著頭恐懼的在床上打滾。嘴里高喊著：“不要找我！我已經得到懲罰了！”看見他這樣我意識到情況不秒。緊接著他在床上不動了，仰面躺在床上， 成了一個大字形。

我赶緊叫來村長。讓他把門撞開。門很結實。我和村長費好大力气才撞開。但是當我和村長進去后村長疑惑地看著躺在床上的人說了句令我詫异的話：“這，這不是我儿子！”

我吃惊的望了望村長又看了看床上的年輕人。他的面部皮膚很黑，額頭很寬闊，碩大的鷹鉤鼻子，肥厚的嘴唇上稀疏的長著几根看似堅硬的胡子，讓我想起了食堂還沒拔干淨豬毛的五花肉。的确從任何角度來看都不像村長。

“這個是小六，是柱子的好朋友。”村長又補充說道。

我看著小六的臉，似乎總覺得有那里不對，但又看不出來。其實事后想想，如果當時再仔細點是可以看出來的。

小六很快醒過來。他還是很恐懼。而且一直捂著右臉不說話。顯然柱子的下落他應該知道的。可是他情緒很不穩定，問也問不出個所以然。我們只好讓他先休息下，我和村長一起來到樓下。

“這個小六住哪里？是個什么人？”我必須先搞清楚小六這個人。

“他是柱子從小一起拉尿活泥的好兄弟。兩人就跟膠布一樣粘在一起。”村長長嘆了口气。“其實我是很反對的，因為這個小六平日里游手好閑，整天想著如何一步登天發大財。經常鼓動我們柱子和他一起去做一些無聊的事，說是為以后發財做准備。柱子也傻呼呼的跟著他。哎，真造孽。”

看來這個小六只是一個無業游民而已。但他怎么在柱子的房間里，而且一住就是半個月？

“你最后看見柱子是什么時候？當時什么情況？”我突然覺得我不是在行醫了，而是在破案了，從小夢想做神探的我感到莫名的興奮。

“一個月前啊，那是晚上，他急急忙忙的赶回家，說是肚子痛就跑上樓了。結果就再也沒下來。”

“你确定那是柱子？你后來又沒有發現小六來過？”

“絕對是柱子，我自己的儿子我會不認識？”村長堅信不疑的說。

其實以村長家的格局，柱子如果后來偷跑出去讓小六進來頂替他也是可能的。不過他到底在逃避什么？而且當我喊出那句話是他為什么那樣慌張和恐懼？不過我還是覺得先去躺小六家為好。

我在村長的帶領下來到小六家里。果然這樣的人家中往往十分貧寒。小六的父母都是极為老實的農家人。我還為小六的母親看過腿。所以他們還是認識我的。

一陣寒暄過后，我們向他們詢問最近小六的近況，兩人都搖頭說他已經失蹤快一個月了。因為他平常經常四處溜達不著家，所以老兩口到也沒在意。到是母親警惕的問了句：“小六是不是在外面闖禍了？”

“沒有沒有，是柱子讓我來看看他。”村長按照事先准備好的話來應付。兩夫婦也稍微顯的安心了點。

從小六家出來，村長更加擔憂了。

“從時間上看，果然是小六再柱子來的那几天就呆在那個房間了。”我摸著下巴，這是我習慣的姿勢，雖然我沒什么胡子。

現在的問題是柱子到底去哪里了，要想知道只有等村長家里的小六醒過來了。

但小六醒不過來了。

我和村長剛回到他家就知道了。小六在我們出去不到半根香的工夫就在房間里暴斃了。和我們走的時候姿勢一樣。可是當我們离開的時候他還是有呼吸的。

死人了事情可就不一樣了。我感覺到我已經無法應付了。我讓村長報警。

“警察？我們這里沒有。”村長的頭搖的像撥浪鼓。

“那平時出點什么事你們怎么解決？”

“我們靠村子里的人共同裁定啊。”村長理所應當的說。還真是個奇妙的村子，居然好保留著這樣如同周文王一樣的法規。

我只好叫村長去把大家著集過來，先不要告訴小六的父母。我不忍看他們傷心，而且最重要的是他們如果哭鬧勢必會讓事情更麻煩。我一個人呆在小六死亡的房間里看著他的尸体，因為我相信他應該死的很不甘心的。

我不是法醫，但我好歹還是個醫學院畢業的。我依稀還記得解剖課上教授教授的東西。我開始細心的看著小六的尸体。

表面沒有任何創傷，起碼肉眼看上去是的。我剛和村長出去大概一個多小時，村子雖然不大，但小六家与村長家住得正好是兩個极端，所以步行去還是花了些時間。尸体還是很熱乎的，不過已經開始出現尸斑了，雖然還不是和顯著。但最令我感興趣的是他的左臉。

他的左臉已經完全和右邊不對稱了。几乎可以說是兩張不同的臉被裁減下一半拼湊到一起。而且我發現左邊的臉的尸斑有些差异。

尸斑最早在人死后30分鐘出現，一般在死亡1---2小時開始出現。尸斑的形成、發展可分為几個階段。

尸斑形成的最初階段，稱為墜積期。此期在死后5---6小時內達到明顯可見。可持續6---12小時。墜積期尸斑被按壓尸斑退色或消失，出去按壓則尸斑又重現。在此前階段如果變動尸体位置。尸斑也隨之改變，在新的低下部位重新出現。

尸斑發展的第二階段為擴散期。從死亡后發展到擴散期約需8小時，延續至26---32小時。此期被血紅蛋白染紅的血漿浸透到周圍組織，此時按壓尸斑已經不能完全消失，只是稍許退色，停止按壓后尸斑恢复原色也慢。變動尸体位置，部分尸斑可能移位，部分尸斑則保留在原來形成的部位。

尸斑發展的第三階段為浸潤到組織中的時間較久，此期用手指壓迫尸斑不再改變顏色，也不再消失，變動尸体位置則尸斑不再轉移。

小六尸体其他部位的尸斑屬于第一階段，這也很正常，但費解的是他左邊臉的尸斑居然在拇指積壓下也不變色，也不消失。明顯是尸体放置一段時間才會產生的尸斑。

而且，左臉的尸斑呈現一种紅色，凍死的人才會出現紅色尸斑。

凍死的？ 現在是夏天啊！

我皺著眉頭离開了這里，雖然我接触了很多尸体，但已經很久沒見了，還是有點不舒服。我來到了樓下。

村長已經把几個重要人物找來了，他們都在村里擔任一些職務的人。他們都相信村長首先肯定不會去加害小六。然后他們商議是否就這樣把小六埋了。我站在一邊等他們都散去才過去和村長詢問。

“這附近有什么地方是很冷的么？冷到可以凍死人？”我問道。 “冷？”村長奇怪地看著我，這也難怪，不過他想了一下，居然告訴我 “有的，這里夏天有時候太熱了，我們就在后山開了一個冰窖，儲存了一些冰塊，怎么了？”

“馬上帶我去，快。”我用毋庸質疑的口气說到。村長只好帶著我過去，雖然他顯的很詫异。 我們很快來到了那個后山的冰窖。說是冰窖，其實不過是個地下室罷了。估計以前是用來存菜的。不過光靠近就覺得有點冷了。

村長在我的央求下打開了冰窖。我和他走了進去。果然，我靠著直覺找到了我要找的東西，不，因該說是人，或許准确的說因該是尸体。 這具尸体不是柱子的，而且很奇怪，這個的穿著不像是村子里的人，到很像是城市來的，他穿著還蠻考究的，看樣子應該是凍死的，因為他還保持著蜷縮的狀態。而且，這具尸体沒有臉。

你可以想象一下沒臉的尸体什么樣子，雖然在冰窖里他的臉落滿了冰霜，但反倒顯的更加恐怖。不過從体態來看，我還是能看出他大概是一名三十左右的男性。

我們很快就帶了人來，不過我沒讓他們把尸体般出來，因為這樣很快會高度腐爛，如果我腦中的想法是對的話，他應該和小六的死以及柱子的失蹤有很大關系。

大家議論紛紛的站在后面，我突然發現村長的臉色很難看。在人群的小聲議論中，我好象听到了柱子和是管理這個冰窖的，冰窖的鑰匙也只要柱子和村長有。這樣一來，柱子的嫌疑就象和尚頭上的虱子一樣明擺著了。

連續兩具尸体了，而且都是非正常死亡。我還是報了警，盡管村長反對，不過眾人還是認為報警為好，在人群中的一部分人的臉上我看到的不是一种責任，而是一种像是落井下石幸災樂禍的神態。他們似乎都有兩張臉，一張在義正嚴詞的要求報警替死者還以公道，另一張臉卻在偷笑。

警察要來還是要些時間的，我得看看我還能做些什么。村長似乎很不高興，難怪，似乎我一來就給這個寂落安靜的山村扔出兩具死因蹊蹺的尸体，換做誰也不會高興的。

無臉的尸体，以及小六那离奇的左臉尸斑。我突然想到那冰窖死者的右臉呢？我忽然把所有的一切想了一下，得到一個答案，但我必須先向村長証實。

我猛的望向村長，他神色恍惚的四周回望。我把他拉到一邊。低沉著聲音問他：“說吧，你把柱子藏哪里了？”

村長大惊，：“你說什么呢，我家柱子我自己都一個多月沒見了，你到問我。”

“小六不是自己愿意呆那里的吧，或許是你把他關在那里的？”我划找一跟火柴，點燃了煙。我沒望村長，因為眼神是對話的武器，用濫了就沒用了。

果然村長開始六汗了，眼睛象色盅里的色子一樣亂轉。但他還是一言不發。

“我剛來的時候幫小六母親看病的時候，她就提到過他儿子，說他儿子患有長年的咽喉病，說話聲音和嘶啞，和別人差距很大。你該不會在這一個月都沒听過里面所謂的柱子開口說話么？就算沒有。你說你每天都要送飯，但小六的皮膚很黑，而你們家柱子因該不黑吧？難道你從來沒怀疑過？好吧，我承認我都是假設，不過等警察來了，你再隱瞞下去也毫無用處。”

村長的額頭布滿了汗。“柱子是我藏起來了，但我不會把他交出去，因為他已經得到報應了，就算把他交給警察，也不過是造成混亂而已。”

“報應？”我疑惑地問。

“是的。”村長低著頭，開始敘說一個月前他看到的恐怖景象。

“那天我和柱子媽剛出過晚飯，柱子就气喘吁吁的赶回家，翻箱倒柜，還問我們要錢，說是要和六子出去一段時間。我開始覺得不妙，支開他媽后逼問他。這孩子沒什么心計，我一逼就全招了。那時候我才知道，他和小六殺人了。”村長說到這里，老淚縱橫，几乎哽咽的說不出話，我只好拍拍他肩膀，示意不要太激動。

“他說他和六騙了一個外地人來買冰。据說那人想開個冰吧，要的就是我們這里那种無污染的水質做的冰，反正是賣給有錢人。柱子在小六的勸說下只好帶著那人來到了冰窖。但那人說要全部買走，并威脅說不賣也得賣，否則他會帶人來。冰窖里的冰是全村人的，村子沒冰箱之類的，消暑避夏都靠這個冰窖。所以柱子不想賣了，結果這樣三人其了爭執。推搡的時候，那人被小六猛推一下，臉砸在布滿棱角的冰塊上，砸的面目全非。他高喊著殺人了，殺人了。結果柱子就用冰在他腦后砸了一下，那人就倒下不說話了。兩人見出事了就赶緊互相逃回家想約一起去躲下風頭。”

“那冰窖的死尸那張臉怎么沒了？”我問到，就算是砸的稀爛，但与臉被撥去是不一樣的啊。

“我也不知道，或許這就是他們的報應。”村長接著往下說。

“知道這事我肺都气炸了。我拿著板凳就往他身上砸，但怎么說他也是我儿子。冰窖的事一旦被村里人的知道，他是逃不掉干系的。我只好答應把他藏起來，而且打算過些日子就找個借口把冰窖封起來。但沒過了几天后，柱子的臉發生變化了。”村長的口气突然變的很恐怖。

“他的右臉開始是很痒，然后經常說冷，接著是長了很多斑點，最后居然爛了，而且很臭，一個一個的膿包。他天天叫疼。可是我用了很多辦法都沒用。等過了一段日子，臉居然又好了，可是，可是……”村長停頓了下。

“可是他的右臉居然沒知覺了，就像中了風的人一樣，那邊的所有動作都做不了，眼睛也合不上，吃飯喝水都漏出來。他經常喊著有鬼有鬼。我怕招惹來別人，只好把他藏了起來，就藏在房子后面的采地廁所附近。而且小六也來了，他說他也有相似的症狀，害怕了所以來找柱子。我只好把小六又藏在柱子的房間。對外就說柱子得了怪病不愿意見人。那時候你正好來了，我就像讓你做個幌子，畢竟來了個醫生卻不讓他給柱子瞧病會引人話柄的。”

村長終于說完了。我的煙也抽完了。我慢慢的對村長說：“那個人是凍死的，估計當時柱子和小六只是把他砸暈了。但其實可以救活的，可他們兩個害怕的居然把他關在冰窖里把他活活凍死了。至于柱子和小六的怪病，我也說不清楚，雖然我理論上是個無神論者。你還是先帶我去見見柱子吧。”

村長看著我，最后還是相信了我，他點了點頭，交代別人處理了下事。帶著我回到家里。

我在后院的陰暗的房間里終于見到了柱子。他已經接近痴呆了。延伸渙散怕光。一個勁的傻笑。但那笑很恐怖。只有半邊臉在笑。村長抹著眼淚說到：“就算養他一輩子，我也要養他啊。”

“不要打他啊，小六，不要啊。”柱子突然高喊了一句，然后又發瘋似的跪在地上昏了過去。村長和我赶快過去扶他。可把他扶正一看。他的那本來沒有表情的臉居然有一絲笑容，雖然僅僅是一瞬間，但我确定沒看錯。那是一种報复過后得意的笑容。而且在那半邊臉上，我看到了小六臉上同樣的尸斑。

“他死了。”我看了看柱子的瞳孔，輕聲說到。村長如同一個孩子一樣防聲大哭，抱著柱子的尸体不放。眼淚和鼻涕都粘到柱子的臉上。

我站了起來。走出房子。腦袋突然想到很久以前看過的一本書。說是人在臨死前帶著极強的怨念割下自己的臉可以報复別人。當時以為不過是胡扯，沒想到居然确有其事。

事情很快結束，村長也不在是村長，柱子和小六的尸体也被帶走。現場的証据也表明的确如村長敘述的一樣。而且也和我想的一樣，冰窖尸体的臉是他自己割下來的。

我离開了村子。臨走前看望了下小六的父母。他們依舊沒有過多的悲傷，或許只是我看不見罷了。

我被送走的時候，村子里的人已經商量著如何重新建一個冰窖并打算如何賣出去了。”

我望著朋友，似乎他的臉也帶著詭异的笑。

“真的有那种事？自己割下臉可以報复別人？”我好奇的問。

“誰知道呢？或許柱子和小六不過是自己嚇自己，但他們臨死前究竟看見了什么誰也不知道。還有，后來据說在尸檢中，他們的臉上的尸斑又消失了。呵呵，奇怪吧？”

“是挺奇怪的，哎，有時候犯罪只是一閃念的事啊。得到報應也是無法推卸的。”我感慨。

“那到不見得，有時候，厄運會自己找上你。就像我知道的那個一心想要讓自己皮膚變白的售貨員一樣。”

“哦？那是什么故事？”

“一晚只講一個。”朋友站了起來，笑著說：“明天晚上在說吧，听太多小心做噩夢。快睡吧，我講的也很累的。”說完就去自己房間了。

我只好躺下睡覺，很快就睡著了，還好，或許白天睡覺不容易做噩夢吧，我睡的很舒服。

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
No more waiting, No more aching No more fighting, No more trying
Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

Love me...

第一夜 食指

朋友一邊抽著煙一邊神秘的豎起他的食指給我看。“看，每個人的食指都代表著人的貪婪，因為吃的欲望是人類最基本和最原始的欲望。知道為什么叫食指么？因為古人說一旦看見好吃的東西食指就會跳動，不是有句成語叫｀食指大動＇么？我現在就告訴你一個關于食指的故事。”說著，他把香煙熄滅，開始敘述這個故事。

“我到西南一個小鎮的時候寄宿在一戶人家里，那里有一位年歲很大的老人，老人精神很好，我沒事就和他談天。也就從他口中知道了這樣一個故事。在民國的時期，這里的女孩要嫁一個好人家的話首先要有一個好身材，尤其是腰。据說一些人家都有明确的規范尺度，精确到毫米呢。（我笑道：“這也太夸張了”）。越是瘦的女孩他們越覺得漂亮，看來恰恰与唐朝的胖為美相反呢。可能當地的人對豬非常的反感，也就蕃衍的認為只要是肥胖的都是丑惡不堪的。于是那里的女孩都拼命的節食，為了能有一個一步三搖，風吹柳絮飄的輕柔身段。

其中有一個叫秀的女孩，自從她明白自己一輩子的幸福要和自己的腰圍成反比就不在吃肉了，而且包括面食。但似乎命運很喜歡和人開玩笑。即便秀從早到晚不停的運動，只吃一點水果，她也會長胖。或許按現在的話來說是基因的問題，或許根本就是一种病。但當時的人可不這么認為。那些瘦瘦的女孩子都在后面嘲笑著秀，說她是豬精投胎。家里人也不住的唉聲嘆气。因為秀的身材已經越來越胖，別說嫁個好人家，恐怕就是當地最窮的老四家也不要她了。

說到老四，其實与秀家里到能尋到几絲親戚關系，但這种親戚就象頭上的頭發，多的數不過來，每天不得掉上几把。不過老四的儿子月秀到是青梅竹馬，兩人幼年時經常一起玩耍。不過自從秀立志嫁入富人家后就斷絕和老四儿子的關系了。不過老四的儿子卻一直把秀放在心里。現在這种時候秀的父母也顧不了了，他們最大的愿望是赶緊把秀嫁出去，省得留在家里丟人顯眼。畢竟，他們認為女儿這种貨物家里還是有很多的。

老四的儿子叫民，其實論相貌道也英俊，只是家貧，穿著很破舊，但十分干淨，無論是人還是衣服。秀的父親把這事向老四一提，老四父子想都沒想就答應了。結果在一天之內就完成了提親，下聘，回書，過門酒席之類的煩瑣程序，在當時也算一項記錄了。

秀雖然百般怨气，但也沒辦法，誰叫自己命不好。再不嫁，過几年恐怕連民都看不上自己了，何況丈夫對自己千依百順，疼愛有加，日子到也將就的過了。

事情往往這么湊巧，或許是風水的緣故，或許是心情的緣故。秀嫁到老四家后反而日漸消瘦，最后到成了當地有名的瘦美人。可惜她早已為人婦。不過依舊很多人打她的主意。那里的人可不在乎什么頭婚，二婚。因為媳婦對那些人來說不過是生育的工具和對家里風水的改良作用罷了。

秀自己也不安分起來了。而且她堅持不要孩子。這點令民十分的苦惱。他知道沒有孩子自己是留不住秀的。其實有孩子有能留住？秀家里活也不干了，見天和一些朋友聊天逛街，或者去大戶人家做客。哪里像一個窮苦人家的媳婦。

看來都是瘦若的禍，民知道，只有秀再次胖起來，她才會安心呆在這個家。

沒過多久，秀果然再次發胖，一切仿佛回到從前。她再次淪為一個農婦。她怨恨命運的玩弄。只有民暗暗發笑。表面上卻和她一邊抱怨一邊安慰她。 日子如同織衣的梭子，在重复的穿梭。一晃十几年過去。秀也生育了几個小孩。她也不在做夢了。安心和民過著日子。一直到他們的女儿月儿的長大。

月儿生得非常漂亮，吸取了父母的优點。不過似乎她也一直都處于不胖不瘦的狀況。甚至偶爾還會丰滿一些。其實按照現在的標准一點都不胖。不過秀不愿意女儿重蹈自己的覆轍。她很早就開始控制月儿的飲食。不過功效不是很大。眼看著月儿快十六了。但腰卻比起他同齡的女孩要多筐一圈。急的秀天天睡不著。

看著自己的妻子天天熬的黑眼圈。民終于忍不住了，或許他認為時間已經沖淡了一切。這時候告訴妻子已經沒什么關系了。

這天兩人和衣睡在床上。秀依舊翻來覆去睡不找。民把她身体掰過來。正色道:｀你知道你過門的時候怎么突然瘦了么？＇

秀奇怪的搖著頭，隨即問道：｀為什么？＇

｀那是因為我，我們家雖然窮，卻知道一個可以讓人變瘦的法子。不過祖輩們交代是禁術，用多了控制的不好會得報應，不過究竟什么報應卻不知道。你來到家后我就對你施了這個術，后來你想走我又把術解了，所以你又變胖了。＇民黯然的說道。

秀已經過了生气的年紀了。其實她早覺得自己突然變瘦又變胖可能是丈夫搗鬼，不過听見這种奇妙的方字到也覺得好奇。｀算了，都過去了，我不怪你，不過你不能耽誤月儿啊，我可要讓她嫁一個好人家！你赶緊告訴我啊！＇

民望著著急的妻子，欲言有止。終于他舉起自己的食指，對秀說：｀是指頭。＇｀指頭？什么意思？＇秀奇怪的問。民告訴秀，相傳在几百年前，祖先在飢荒的時候好心收留了一個叫花子。据說這個叫花子不是凡人，是游歷民間的茅山術士，不過是裝做要飯的來看看眾人的善心。他見民的祖先心地善良。就教會一些法術給民的祖輩。后來一代代傳下來，大部分都已經失傳，只有這變瘦一法卻奇怪的保留下來。但民的家族自此就開始敗落下來。恐怕這和民間流傳著使用茅山法的諸多忌諱有關。茅山術禁忌极多，一旦破坏，輕則破財倒霉，重則有血光之災甚至禍連后代。相比民的祖先定是用法術做了些什么不義之事才有所報。

至于這個法術，民告訴秀，其實只要將吞下自己食指的指甲就可以。但這個術最多一次只能維持數年。而且每個人可以瘦得程度是有限的。用的多了，据說最后會發生很恐怖的事。由于只是變瘦，民一家人也很少去使用，不過民的父親還是教會了民使用。

｀難怪后來你每次見到我都那么好心幫我修指甲。＇秀語气怪怪的說。民覺得有些尷尬。摸著妻子的臉，｀我這不還是因為喜歡你么。＇ ｀算了，我也不生气了，明天你就施這個術，赶快讓月儿瘦下來。＇ 民點了點頭，夫婦倆又安心睡下了。 果然，沒過多久，月儿果然瘦了下來而且是十里八鄉瘦的最漂亮最精神的。鄰里都夸民和秀養了這么一個好女儿，肯定可以嫁一個好人家。夫妻二人听了笑的合不了嘴。

但事情很不湊巧，當地最大的一戶財主要找儿媳婦。這個財主就是前面提過的儿媳婦的体重腰圍都精确到最小單位的那种人。秀當然讓女儿去試試了。可惜就差那么一點。而且月儿已經是最輕的了。財主放出話，在過一星期沒人合格的話，就去外地找了。秀一心想讓女儿嫁進去。就逼民再次施法。民無奈的說：｀你听過神行太保戴宗么？其實像那种術也是有不同程度的。据說有一位信使在送信的時候耽誤了時間。怕被責罵，一位好新的茅山術士教他以銀針刺腳底，忍住痛，放出雜血。可以日行三百，夜行三百。果然如實。后來信使再次向術士討教跑的更快的辦法。術士說，只要將雙腿膝蓋骨挖去，可以日夜行兩千里。結果信使嚇跑了。＇ ｀你和我說這個干什么？＇秀奇怪的問。 ｀我是想告訴你，如果你還想讓月儿瘦下去的話，所付出的就不是指甲了。＇民擔憂地說。秀沉默許久，最后還是要堅持讓月儿一定要進那個有錢人家的豪門。民問了女儿的意見，月儿自然想母親高興，家里擺脫貧困，一口答應了。民呦不過二人。不過這次需要的是月儿必須吃掉自己的食指！

大戶人家并不在乎少跟指頭，只要其他標准到了就可以了，指頭可以說以前小時候弄傷的。于是月儿只要咬著牙剁掉食指，并吃了下去。果然，第二天月儿就又明顯的消瘦了，手上的傷一好，馬上去財主家，財主正發愁呢，一看月儿就大喜過望。這樁婚事很快就定下了。指頭的事大家似乎也都漸漸忘記。事情慢慢恢复了宁靜。民和秀也靠著財主家的錢過上了富裕的生活。這個時候雖然中原正在打仗。但戰火卻燒不到這個地方，這里依舊一片世外桃源。

沒多久，過門的月儿怀孕了，生下一個儿子。似乎是好事。但很快月儿的身体就像吹气球一樣漲了起來。一發不可收拾。丈夫一家人對月儿突然變胖感到費解，他們把這事轉告給民和秀，并說婚后胖一點可以，但像月儿這樣恐怕難以作為他們家的儿媳這樣的身份。如果月儿還繼續胖下去，他們決定休掉她。

秀哭著問民，民苦思良久。查閱了些書。終于知道，產婦在分娩的時候，大量的失血會破掉這個法術。秀在生月儿的時候已經變胖，所以民沒有在意這個術居然會被解。事情到了這個地步秀看著女儿如气球一般的身体哭著責問民；｀就算會變回原樣，我們月儿也不應該變成這樣啊！＇

民告訴秀，法術一旦被救，身体就會像積壓很久的彈簧猛的反彈，而且做月子的時候營養丰富，就是普通人也容易胖啊。 ｀我不管，這樣下去我們一家人都沒辦法在這里立足了，而且我的外孫，秀的儿子也見不到了，你忍心啊？＇ 民抓著頭，望著在一旁哭的淚人似的女儿和老婆，終于艱難的說到；｀這個術還是可以在做一次的。但是……＇ ｀不要但是了，能救女儿我付出什么都可以的。＇秀哭著求民，月儿也跪在地上求父親。 ｀我不知道會有什么后果，因為就算是祖輩們也從未這樣一而再，再而三的施法，他們再三告戒后人，用多了術是會遭天譴的。＇ ｀說不定只是那個道士嚇唬你們啊，你也說沒人用過，你又怎么知道會遭到天譴呢？＇秀反問道。
民默不作聲，最后只好答應最后一次施術。

這一次不是要月儿的指頭了，而是要民和秀兩人的食指，因為儿女和父母有著看不見的紐帶。如果一方以轉嫁的方式把自己的以些疾病或者痛苦是可以轉移到另一邊的。所以月儿吞下了父母砍下來的食指。民和秀忍著劇烈的疼痛安頓好女儿睡下。倆人徹夜不眠的守在身邊，深怕出現什么不好的事，不過似乎一切順利，第二天早上，月儿就恢复了結婚前的身姿，就像少女一樣。夫婦二人這才安心的送月儿回到公公家，那邊丈夫等人一看也大吃一惊，不過既然變瘦了自然是好事，也就笑逐言開的一家人回去了。民和秀也回家好好的養傷。

但第二天深夜。正當民和秀熟睡之際，親家突然派人報喪，叫民和秀赶緊來。原來當夜月儿就暴亡了。而且死狀恐怖。秀一听當場就暈了。民只好獨自一人去認尸。一路上民腦袋一片空白，猶如行尸一樣被人牽著走進現場。女儿一下就這么去了，實在令他難以接受。但當他看到女儿的尸体，姑且稱做尸体時候，他也几乎嚇暈過去。

月儿整個人就像被什么動物啃咬過一樣，周身沒有一塊好肉，已經和骷髏差不多了。從床上到地上將近兩米的距离都是月儿拖出來的痕跡，血和碎肉散落的到處都是，月儿的頭高昂著，手伸向門外，估計是從床上翻下來想去開門，但只爬了几米就咽气了，而且死前恐怕是受盡痛苦。民怎么也不明白，難道這就是所說的報應？看著女儿的尸体，他一屁股做在地上，頓時老淚縱橫。

由于死狀恐怖加上這位財主門風甚嚴。月儿的死的真相沒几個人知道。對外就說少奶奶得急病死的。財主給了民和秀一大筆錢讓他們离開這里。可惜秀知道女儿的慘死后自責不已，后來也自盡了。民也人間蒸發。

据說，茅山術本身就是一种驅鬼和轉嫁的法術。比如施術的人可以把別人家的肉或者食物變到自己手中，也可以讓自己的傷痛轉移到他人身上。估計這個術也是將本來在自己身上的肥胖轉移到別人身上。但凡是術總有自損的一面。民一再施術終于遭受到報應，可惜還是報應到自己家人身上。至于月儿的慘死。其實是術的反噬。在佛教中六道之中有一种鬼是餓死鬼，他們很小，如螞蟻一般，但數量眾多。他們生前飢餓，死后化為鬼會吃掉一切東西。食指是人食欲的象征。吃掉自己的食指其實就是与餓死鬼達成了契約。它們會幫你吃掉你不想要的那些討厭的脂肪和肥肉。但一旦契約無法控制或者過量，它們就會把你整個人也吞掉。” 朋友說到這里，湊過來對我低聲說道：“當我听完這個老人說的故事，我也忍不住撫摩著我自己的食指，我想，難道真吃掉自己的食指就能變瘦了？正當我疑惑的時候，老人笑了笑起身而去。我注意到他的一只手上只有四個指頭，唯獨少了那跟食指。我后來四出打听，旁里的人都說不認識老人，說老人好象是解放后才來的，大家都叫他民伯。”

我听的張著嘴不說話。我也如朋友一樣輕撫自己的食指，腦海里忽然想起了前些日子看到的螞蟻群。忽然感到一陣發麻。朋友看我發呆，笑得猛拍一下我的肩膀，“不用擔心了，有些東西就有就是有，沒有就是沒有，不應該靠人力強求的。” “那也不一定啊，事在人為啊，你不要惟命運論啦。”我也笑著反駁。

朋友望了望我，“那你听說過半臉的故事么？” “沒有。”我朝他望去，他的臉上突然帶著几絲詭异，那臉仿佛似泥塑的一樣。 “算了，明天講吧，你看太陽都出來了。”朋友突然恢复了常態，指了指窗外的太陽。我也只好壓抑下自己的好奇，先去睡了。等晚上再繼續。

As what i had promised last month, i will upload some myterious story twice per week, start from november. really have a lot to share, but i got no mood to write it out, for this moment. so plan to postpone to few days later. a busy semester..


wish = pass through all matters smoothly

It is so irritating these few days. Just because of my thinking and hands, wish to switch the computer on and blogging. *ish*

Finally i can blog, the first thing i want to write, of course, is about my besty's birthday. It had been so long time i planned for it, hard to plan it too. @,@"

Present, i knew she had a wanted list in her blog. After surveying for the prices of the listed items, i thought, the most suitable thing is a pair of white speaker. u know why? because we had an IT fair in our campus, what a coincident! I geh si geh si asked her about the speaker type that she wished to buy. and i "scanned" a very very cute pinky speaker. asked about her opinion, who knows she said not nice, not cute, dont want it. *ish* ok, fine. found another speaker, slightly costly. but it was considered quite cheap already since the IT fair. decided to buy it, had to find a reasonable excuse. hmm... yvonne is the best choice to take this speaker back home. because me and van had speakers already, chinn is impossible to buy such a big speaker though. ah moo was not there, so the best choice, still yvonne.

-present matter settled-

How to celebrate??

i knew, she loves surprises. (everybody does) while we were planning, we made a mistake. made our lovely mei mei so emo and antisocial somemore. we were so nervous, but at last planned not to let her know. just let it be. who knows, she became to normal mode in the evening class. *phiew~* however, we used the time that she emo, to discuss about her party celebration. planned to have 2 celebrations for her.

plan 1: saturday (5/9/09) after business plan competition, we go to DreamBox sing k, after that take sticker photo, then go to MP sibaraku to eat dinner buffet. after buffet will go to Baskin Robbin to celebrate. everything was planned so nice. but, in a sudden, van had to celebrate her mom's birthday as well, she was going to Bangkok in the early morning of saturday. *swt*

changed plan to : eat sibaraku in MP on friday - the day before business plan competition- then straight away celebrate the birthday in Baskin Robbin - for more information of photos, kindly log on to meimei's facebook- (everything was decided in a hurry, hope meimei wont so mind about it)

plan 2: planned to celebrate in the cafe that she wished to go long time ago - xuan cafe-
the first thing i have to do is : invite as many people as i could.
i managed to invite quite a lot of people to attend this party, thank God! (although there was quite a lot of problems occured at that time) all the problems settled, but still left out - the activities to be going through during the party. @,@"

overall, the party was great. just that yvonne put us aeroplane in the very last minute.=.="

and too, they pushed me to do the job that i felt so paiseh to do it. T-T (heartless friends)
collect the $$... sigh.. T_T

Lastly, i really hope that meimei enjoyed her celebrations. it may have some problems occurred. hope u wont mind. ^^


-friends forever-

all the best in our final!!! fighting!

p.s. : hey, what about mine har?! dont forget my present!!! hahahaha!!! kidding la! happy holiday~

U know what.. i fall for ur attire today. U are wearing so smart.. I was like, cant control my eyes to look at u.. but the pity thing is, i just can look at u in a very very short time..

I'm wondering.. why do u always sit at the back but not in front anymore? I'm wondering, can u listen to what the lecturers had taught? cant sit at the back, it's bad for my studies.. I know that.. but why dont u?

I'm just very very loving ur attire today.. wish to see this style of u, everyday.. ^,^

Wish to know what is ur car number plate.. so that i can park beside urs.. lolz.. just kinda kidding..


**i'm planning.. still planning.. hope i can be succeed.. wish me luck..

hmm.. today is the day to give answer.. but he didnt contact me yet.. so i'm waiting..

told my family about this thing yesterday night.. =.=

they were more excited than me.. i also dont understand why.. my dad analysed everything out..

so the main reason they thought about is, this is a distance love, hard to maintain.. -i had the same idea too-

whatever, he wont do anything probably.. so tell him also useless.. sigh.. i understood the reason, though it's hard to be accepted..

suak la.. this kinda thing, just follow the fate.. it makes me so troublesome and headache.. let's enjoy the single life.. yes, i rather enjoy single..

today went to jusco.. my mom wanted to buy red wine.. coz it's going to have a party to celebrate my sister's engagement.. decided to call along my friends to my house.. but then it's too bad luck.. the part is on 25th of july, but 27th of july is my first midterm test.. nobody will attend.. so just let it be.. @.@"

then i bought "salonpas" for my friend, "the rock".. haha!

she told me that her shoulder is pain yesterday.. so i bought this for her lo.. hope can help to relief pain.. coz heard my sister said, "salonpas" is good to relief pain..

tonight will be a lazy night.. lazy to do assignment, lazy to do homework.. sigh.. i am a lazy girl~~ >.<"

sigh.. today morning received a call from somebody, said that the party that will be held on sunday is cancelled. i sms to jessy to confirm about this, she gave me a reason : bbq party will make people get sick easily in this time..and no other plan can replace this party event..so cancelled.. -zha dou-

today is just busy sent pictures to friends~ took a lot of nice photos.. yesterday was an super memorable and enjoyable day for us, ji mui~ -lazy to upload photos dy.. >.< -

today.. it is also a very shock and surprising day.. somebody confessed to me.. in fact, i expected he will confess, but not now.. we both knew that it is not the right timing for us to have a further our relationship.. how can u want me to maintain a distance love, by using my first love.. once i think about this, i will be depressed, so kesian neh!!!

confessed using sms, so chicken la u! lolz.. but it's ok.. we are still besties..i am still ur loyal listener.. we can still share our things with each other.. i just want us to have more time to know each other, to learn more.. me and u, just knew for 1 year.. not even 1 year.. it is out of my expectation..

u had told me before, u dont want me to have a high expectation on u.. i know, i understand.. but now u are the one who is not understand it, obviously.. if i accepted, u have more responsibilities and burdens to bear with.. can u? we both are beginners, we have to go through and overcome a lot of problems.. it needs patience and time to do so.. can i? am i able to do so? the answer for both of the questions is no.. u are just followed feelings.. it will spoil everything, including our relationship as besties..

u know what.. from besties to couples, it is very easy.. really easy.. but everything has to change.. it has good and bad sides.. so, why dont we both give more time for us.. isn't it good? isn't it the thing that u wanted since long time ago? please.. dont spoil our friendship..

so, u asked me to give u an answer to u tomorrow.. answer is obviously shown.. hope u will understand and accept the current situation we having now.. that will be good and relief.. =)

hmm.. i want to write this blog, though it has nothing for me to write about. think of these few weeks, what had i did? er.. probably nothing.
i had joined few clubs and societies. joined their sub-comm as well. hope that i can cope with these tasks. no choice, SAPS points are tempted..
as usual, busy with tutorials, assignments, quizzes and homework. @.@"
how badly i wish i'm working now. so that i wont have to face this kinda stupid things.

tomorrow will be a happy day to me. (hopefully)
the planning which i had planned since last year (=.="), at last, finally, have come true~ my friends and i, are going to ZOO melaka tomorrow!!! haha!i know some of them might not like to go to zoo. because it is dirty, smelly and the weather is torturing too. hehe.. though they are still willing to go with me~ how good u all.. love u all~

after that, we will go to DP.. plan to take photos.. those with "big head" one..
-hard praying-
hope tomorrow will be a nice weather~

LOLz.. today just played a test. "when will u get ur next boyfriend/girlfriend"
the result shows that i will never get a next boyfriend.
but i dont have boyfriend currently.. shit.. that means i will single in my life.. T_T
sigh.. what a life i'm having now..
but i know, this kinda thing is fated. maybe i need to wait for the Mr Right.. (consoling myself)..
maybe.. haizz.. suak la.. dont care about this thing dy.. dont have ma dont have lo.. it's nothing so big deal wat!! blek..

going to celebrate zhu gay fan and ji fan's birthday this coming sunday.. jifan doesnt know that we are going to celebrate her birthday as well.. lol.. we are planned to give her a surprise.. havent choose the present for her yet. @.@"
totally have no idea for the present.
heard that they had invited many people to come for the BBQ party.
probably, i will be sitting in front of the BBQ boat, isolated from people.. haizz.. what to do? this is me..
somebody is invited also. but geh si geh si doesnt want to come.. keep asking me whether want somebody to come. just decide yourself la. dont ask me. i am lose thinking power of making decision. so long never make decision dy. so dont ask me.

just now told me that somebody wont come.. do u think that i will sad for u? no, u are wrong, totally. this is non of my business. it's up to u whether u want to come. i still can enjoy myself. no worries.

in fact, i have to tell u that, u are actually still care for M. just admit it. but u dont want, and deny. haizz.. maybe u urself dont know this thing yet. since u are denied, so i dont have the responsibility to let u know. non of my business dy.. ^.^
one more thing.. u denied, it's ok.. but u are talked so bad words about her. it;s really unacceptable. i was so surprised! how could u say a girl until like that. explained to u, but u rejected my explanation.
felt so disappointed to u.. u're not respecting girls. how worse are u!the most basic thing, but u dont know, keep denying, keep rejecting others' explanation.
that's why.. u are not worth and not deserved to have any girl beside u. so sucks!
if u continue with such attitude, u will bear the consequences urself.. sigh...

it had been 2 months i didnt update my blog. i know it has nobody to read my blog. but for my own responsibility, i feel that i must update the blog. i treat it as my diary,although i didnt update it daily. but still, i want to write out my feelings. if not, i will be mad. whenever i want to share my feelings, i find no one to share with. it's embarrassed. i know.
it's ok. i think i will cope with this very well.

first sem in degree.. it's kinda busy. it's normal, i know. but still, i want to complain!! MMU system really not that efficient and effective. but i have to cope with this too. why? because i dare not to complain in formal way.. chicken..
however, if compared to USM, i think MMU system is good enough for us, students, to use it. just bear with it in this 4 years.

recently, i found that i had lost. lost in many aspects. ex-classmates are graduated from matriculation and going to enter local U. heard one of them is going to study overseas. same course with me. but duration is only 3 years. i started to worry, and suspect about my university and my course. is that the correct course i had take for my entire life? is that the correct university to study this course? i dont know. i'm confused. they will graduate earlier than me, 1 year. but salary still the same. that means, in other words, i'll waste up 1 year in MMU.
yes, i know. my "gia su" gene is come again.. it's lost of control again. sigh..

it's going to be very busy. i think i'm crazy, but the more crazy thing is, i pulled my friends together with me, to crazy together. sorry guys, if this sem u all feel reall tough to go through. i had no choice. sweetness comes after bitter. it always like that. this sem is the bitter time. hope we can taste the sweetness after that.

frankly, after u went to cyber, the thing that is unforgettable is when u can accompany me. do whatever thing i want to do. this is the only thing i miss about. whenever it is lunch or dinner time, i'm alone, if my friends didn't eat with me. take away the food and eat at home, is lonely. yes, lonely, nothing more than that. i finally know what's my sister's feeling. she hate eating at home. because of this, i always ask or even force my friends to eat with me.hope they can forgive me.

today home alone again. it's a better night for me to think over something.
i'm tired. tiring in maintaining the relationship between u and me. even friendship. i don't know what should i tell u, i dont know what should i do for u, i even dont know how to face u. yes, i'm hiding again. really dont feel like facing the problems. i dont know how to tell u what are the problems. maybe they had retained many months ago. just that we didnt realise the problems. u know, ur over suspicious and think too much had made me felt unbreathable. they made me so tiring.everybody also says that u are good. u treat me so gentle.
they might be correct. sometimes u are good, when ur mood is good. but when ur mood is bad, i totally dont know what should i do. i'm suffering.
i can guarantee that u dont know this thing.
this few weeks, what u had done is calling, keep on calling me. it's so torturing. i told u i'm busy. but u were "pek cek" there. what u want me to do?! i picked up ur phone, but u were talking rubbish and wasting my time.
it's enough. maybe we shouldn't be besties. we both dont deserve this relationship. what if we are just strangers.. so that we can have separate life.we dont disturb each other. so good..
agree? we just stepped back to strangers stage. so that i wont be so suffering, dont know how to face in front of u..

These few days are in a super relaxing mode.. because last few weeks were busy with the presentations.. business project.. damn stressful.. always in moody.. so i totally relaxed myself in these few days..

first day,we went to swim.. in ixora.. most of our rice tong members were arrived.. had a really enjoyable moment with them.. and refreshed.. i had been months never exercise.. body became fatter.. aikzz.. we "throw" our members one by one to the swimming pool.. cool~ it's very funny.. but we made one of our member cried.. sorry oh.. because she doesn't know how to swim.. and that was the first time she went to the pool.. no heart la us~ lol.. after that we planned to eat dinner together.. but i put aeroplane.. because last few days also felt sick.. then period is coming soon.. not feeling well.. my parents "da bao" for me.. so i thought it's better for me to eat at home.. in case i'm in a serious pain..

second day, i went to chinese orchestra event.. IT IS ABSOLUTELY COOL!!!! i love orchestra so much.. but dont have the chance to watch it.. now, when i watched it, i felt very enjoyed.. really really!!i wanna learn flute~ hope i have the effort and chance to learn it.. (praying..)




the last day, i went to sing k with my rice tong group members.. but blood rice didnt attend.. too bad.. we sing and sing and sing.. sing for 5 hours!!! gosh.. after that, initially was decided to watch a movie before going back home.. but then majority said wanna shopping.. so we went for shopping.. but me, chashao rice and rurou rice went to play games with aaron, cow rice and roger.. it's kinda fun there.. after that zhu gay rice said wanna play bowling.. and we didnt feel like going other places.. so accompanied them and sat at there.. waiting they all came back from crazy shopping..

i realised that.. i like the way when i'm be with u.. i fall in love with that kinda way when we are together.. sigh.. now only i realised.. it's totally too late.. if possible, i hope that i can never realise this feeling.. kept it in the deepest place in my heart.. dont try to think about it.. isnt it a best way for us? yeah, i guess it is..
sometimes, we have to be selfish.. so i understood ur feeling.. it is just a way that we wont suffer together in future.. but i really cannot bear with this suffering situation.. one more month.. i feel like crying out loudly.. sigh.. tell nobody about my feelings.. suffering..

me~ rurou rice~ chashao rice~

the rice tong~

we are Rice Tong~

u know why am i saying like that? these are the evidences!!! what the hell!
firstly, today i am supposed to see the supplier which is the sixth time i had been found him.. but ended up he was not there!! damn!!! so angry! if he has supplied for another group then just inform us la? dont let us waiting and keep going to the place to find him ma.. any feel of responsibility also dont have! hate!

secondly, me and jiamei went to the baba nasi lemak there to ask for catering.. but then the boss told us that he is busy.. wont do catering.. what the hell! ok, fine.. but the nasi campur is superb!!
too bad he cant supply us.. if not sure earn profits!

the last but not least, my purse had been stolen!!!! shit! @#%&#@
i knew that it is my fault.. i shouldnt leave my purse in my bag.. security department also advised us not to leave expensive belongings in the shelf.. i had a uncomfortable feeling today. it seems like something is going to happen. i thought it is car accident. mana tau is lost purse.. sienzz.. once i saw my bag, i know something had happened. ya, i am right. my purse is lost. jiamei didnt believe and help me to search again. she asked me why i didnt have any expression on my face. sigh.. what kinda expression should i have? cry out loud? it is in public la.. i should keep my image. laugh out loud? i guess people will think i'm crazy.. calling to my mom and my dad.. my mom was shock and panic.. then ask me to call my dad.. i called my dad, he is much more calm as compared to my mom.sigh...

dont know how am i going back home. the only thing i know is go to my sis's room.. once my sis had opened the door, i started to cry.. (sobbing there while telling my sis what had happened) my sis lent me a RM50 note..
thank god nothing important inside my purse.. my IC is time for me to change it. my license can renew. my membership cards!! gone.. whatever..
my money!!! i just withdraw my money out few days ago.. sigh.. hope the thief will not use my money in my ATM.. i pray sincerely to god..

hah! we had done our social work today!!! hurray!!!(i feel like dancing around..)

haha.. i'm sweeping the leaves..

before this.. we had quite worried about it because of the approval problem.. we straight went there this morning, without receiving the approval letter from that particular charity organisation.. cool~

tired..rest for awhile first..

i woke up vy early today.. sleepy nia!! but still have to wake up.. sienzz.. then just ate 3 slides of bread.. one group of us, 2 cars.. people included are siew chinn (our project leader), me (one of the driver), shuhan, jiamei, jiajia, shiehying, yongann(another driver) and also yongkang(photograpgher).

really vy happy today.. although i'm sweeping the leaves all the time.. shoulder muscle pain.. T_T

yo!yo!

then we have lunch at newton.. i ate a lot of food!!! i need energy!! lol.. after that we went for carrefour to buy something to the charity as a donation.. bought meehoon, rice, condensed milk, milo, biscuits, and also oyster sauce(what? i wondered why they want this thing..)..then we went back to the building again.. and interact with the children who are having tuition there..

taking photo with Ms Molly

i had having a lot of fun with all of u guys~~

jiamei, dont always bully yongkang la.. he will let u bully is because he is so good.. haha..

why everytime when i need u, u will not around?
i'm nearly fed up with this kinda situation.. everytime i need u to be with me, by my side, u will not around.. fated? if it is, i will have nothing to talk about it..
helpless.. u wont know that kinda feeling..
if u are not able to do that thing, just dont promise me. i dont want everytime after u promised me, but u cannot do it. it will just make me feel disappointed.it is not everytime that i am able to console myself by saying that u are really busy with ur stuffs..
just dont promise me anything beyond ur strength. u will only destroy my trust on u..
really very sad and disappointed.
u are busy recently.. i know that..
i shouldnt blame on u.. i know that..
just cant control myself only.. maybe after that i will be better..hopefully..
wanted to talk to u..but i'm not brave enough.. just can write down my feelings here.. but i know u wont be able to see it..
u know why? it is simply because, u are not really understand about me.. so how can i consider u as a member of my family? although i had never been considered u as my family member.. dont blame me, because u are not, from past, now and future..

u said u want to bring me along to attend the dinner with LJ.. please la?! if i go, everybody will know what's that mean, except u.. sigh.. why dont u just care a little bit about my feeling?! do u really know that ur mui is not good in english speaking?! i'll only talk nothing and sit alone there..dont u ever think about this?! i nearly get mad about this matter! sigh.. speechless..

haizz.. these few weeks busy with my stuffs..discussions..assignments.. i seem like had a lot of things to do but the thing is, i dont know what to do.. my brain is out of function..mayb i didnt get enough sleep. this tuesday, skip 2 classes.. the first class i skipped is because i wan to meet the supplier with my friend.. second class i skipped is because i wanted to register my course in beta level. our action had been noticed, and the lecturer cancelled off our attendance. i had made my friends in trouble. sorry, really vy sorry, i didnt know about this. teach u all becoming bad students. sorry about it.

drama, my friend and i had done a script of the drama.. they all read it and our script had chosen! should i feel happy? it's expected. they all just copy and paste, surely ours will be chosen. sigh.. havent start to practise yet.. hopefully, it will be done smoothly.i hope, i pray.. sincerely..

business management presentation.. i had think of an interesting way to present. but i have to work harder to practise more.. fainted.. jiamei! u have to teach me ar... i'm in a big trouble now..i trust in u.. lol.. i will work harder! let's keep our good reputation as "the best group" together!hope this time we can maintain our reputation..

the moral social work.. really vy sad.. we had email to the director.. but she hasnt reply us.. confused.. T_T hope i can do this social work within this week.. next few weeks will be vy busy..

that fella promised me wants to perform to me, finally he kept his promise and perform his "er hu" to me.. pretty good.. enjoyed in it.. i did not tell him that his performance was good. i know he knew himself. and he is boasted enough to know his ability..
he is the first guy that i had no idea on him! have u ever see a boy is whacking a gal?! he has no gentleman sense la!! next time i should fight back! he has a "pig hand" and "horse foot".. damn pain la! shit..
today that fella is sad. u know why? because his friends all are bullying him by saying he falls in love in me.. lol.. for me, it is really a small matter. coz in secondary school, we used to "talk rubbish".. so i have the antibody dy. cant blame on that fella la, he is from boy's school. never face this situation before. but i really super swt when he told me what is happening. ok, normally, in this kinda situation, i think the gal should be the one who feels sad rite? reputation spoilt, "market" no more etc. but now mine and his position had turn the other way round. god! sienzz..
always said dont want others misunderstand us. hey, stupiak! the actions u did, ALL also will make people misunderstand us la! haizz.. when comes to this thing, i always will feel that i'm dealing with a 3 years old boy. so "clean" in his mind.. dont know how to communicate with him.

i cant do anything. if not he will like a kid. _-_
whatever la.. just censor those things that i dont want to hear, dont want to see.. ur fault! sigh... sometimes i really feel like open ur brain, and see what's inside.. pek cek..

我同意..有男女的地方,就会有爱出现..因为男生和女生是互相吸引的..
爱情,对绝大多数的人来说,是不可缺少的东西..他们可以没有钱,可以不要面子,但是爱情绝不能没有..
很遗憾的,爱情对于我,次于家人与金钱..换句话说,它不是什么不可缺少的东西..
你可以说我现实..我不介意..
或许应该说我自私吧?还是太理智?一旦那一段已经被我认定是不可能的爱情,我会以最快的速度抽身而起..长痛不如短痛..
以往的我都是很理智的..为什么这一次的我会这么糊涂..每一步都是错的..明知道结局会是怎样的..
反常了..这不是个好的现象..
虽然知道解决的方法..可是..我真失败啊..
叹~再这样下去..会很痛苦的..何必,为了现在的快乐..让以后都活在痛苦中?
你是知道的..我也是知道..
为什么会给我遇到这种麻烦的事情?!为什么....

sigh.. super moody.. many assignments.. have to find group members.. luckily most of them are 6 ppl in one group.. business project needs 12 ppl in one group.. last couple days i was so scare and panic.. my heart almost cant afford it..
i felt so angry and disappointed.. i thought that "someone" should be join my group.. i thought he had promised me since last sem? although i didnt put so much expectation on him.. but he should know about my situation now isn't it? ok, fine.. he joint others.. when i got to know this news, i cant even control my feeling well.. straight away sign out msn.. off my phone.. sat on my chair doing nothing.. idle there.. for a very very long time.. somemore in that afternoon, i felt myself was neglected.. this is not a good situation for me.. i dont like that kinda feeling.. feel like telling somebody else about my feelings.. but nobody's there.. ok, fine..
but, luckily.. the day after that day, we have grouped.. suddenly felt that my feelings are balanced.. if not, i will get mad..
the most headache thing.. my english drama.. both of us were neglected, once again.. i was trying so hard to calm myself down..i hate ppl break their promise.. i hate to listen to "sorry" this word.. sigh.. but what to do? i'm not police so i cant catch anyone of them.. i'm not god so i cant make anyone of them die straight in front of me.. what i have to do is searching group members.. finally, we found two indian gals.. god bless me.. hope that the are not that kinda lazy ppl.. marks for this drama are high!! i dont want to lose marks.. i dont want blackies to join us.. really dont want.. arh!!!
actually, i wanted to be the group leader for business project.. but i think nobod will agree with me.. i scare myself cant handle it.. so i just kept quiet.. let fate to choose for us.. i'm not the group leader of course.. fated.. nothing much i can say.. so i decided to do the accounting group leader.. erm.. it's kinda easy job.. by the way, i have to do from the basic.. i have many sem to go through.. so it must have a chance for me to be the group leader.. ^^
sorry, jia mei.. i know u will feel headache while handling us this gang.. but we will do our best!! and help u whenever u ar in need..
and thank you.. lucky to have u in pm08.. if not i sure died over there.. everything also needs u to initiate it.. sorry about that.. one sem only!! the next sem we can be together with the rest of the gang~
everything will be alright.. will be ok.. dont feel so stress.. sigh..

i told u dy.. u dont believe it. now u see.. what's ur feeling now? sad? disappoint? frustrated? or feel like dying?
told u many many many times.. it had been a thousand times i told u, i remind u.. but at last? all are the same effect.. what for?
humans are not trustable! they are untrustable. how many times i need to remind u? keep trusting people.. keep giving people chances to hurt u.. then? heart break? is that vy meaningful
for u?
dont put so high expectation on people. people ma on meet ur expectations. so, dont give chances to urself to expect other people can do well.
ok, u will ask, how about his/her promises? i know promises really mean a lot to u.. i also knew that nobody cares about ur feelings.. but so what?! they dont bother or care u, that's their business. dont too mind about what are others thinking on u. please la? relax gal.. people who do not keep their promises on u, are those who u need not to care to. u know the reason..
it is not a big deal!alone ma alone lo.. i rather to have few besties..