5/12/2010 (Sunday) Sunny day

"Getting used to"

This phrase in fact makes me trembling. I'm particularly scared of getting used of something. As I know me myself would not want to change easily if I had get used to something. I hate changing. That's why I'm wondering how could I survive in this changing world. LOLZ~

Well, I'm getting used to the life with you. This somehow makes me feel uneasy in a world that without you, cant see you everyday, cant listen to your voice everyday and everything must be done by my own.All these facts make me realized that I'm relying on you more than what I've thought. Hope you wont think your little girl is not independent enough.

When the days are cold, God knows how badly I miss you. You always warmer than me, don't you know that you are my little oven? ^^ I hurt my wrist, I guess. It's so painful when I was trying to use energy. You wasn't here, with me. It wakes me up, for relying on myself when you are not around. My heart suddenly gets colder. Sigh.. I'm missing you, although you are just left for 2 days. Miss those days when you fetch me out and have meals with me. Yet, you seem to be so busy, until we have not more than 10 messages a day. Once again, my heart feels colder. What I can do is to hug my little patrick dogs. They are always loyal to me.

Once again, you are considering whether to follow my family going to Penang. I had decided for you that you don't need to follow. I'm scare. Yes, I'm scare. Scare that I will listen "No" from you. That's why I had decided for you. I don't want to give myself any hope as I know I will be very disappointed if you reject. Yet, you do not know my purpose for doing so and insist to decide yourself. I'm wondering, do you like my family? Just wanted to let you know that I will definitely put my family on the highest position in my heart. No one can change it, neither you. As usual, I cant win in any argument. Sometimes, I will wonder if you are listening to me. Hearing and listening are two different words. Hearing is an action that you just hear but do not get what people want to tell. Listening is an action that you can get what they wanted to express. So, you hear me, but didn't listen to me. Don't you? How hard I was trying to tell you but you will cut off my points sometimes. Am I that useless in giving opinions or expressing myself? This in fact depressed me and I do not feel like expressing myself sometimes.
*Such a gray feeling now*

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I can now officially declare my holiday to everyone~! Yes, finally I'm free from all those troublesome, at least for one week.Though, I still have to get my assignments done within this week. Sigh.